~Natural-Mama~ �Diaryland� ~~� Newest� ~~�� Older� ~~�� Leave me a note :-) ~~ E-mail�
10:05 p.m. 2006-04-18 I really wish that I was the person that could update all of the time. I wish that I wrote everything down all the time so that I could have a record fo my life and all of my memories. What I would give to be able to go back and read some of the funny stories from the past... I have got to start doing better and teking more pictures and stopping to smell more flowers. 11 days ago my little sister's best friend and my little brother Matt's girlfriend (finally after 5 years, they had been dating since January) Whitney left my mama's house to go to Subway for everyone and now we will never get to see her again this side of heaven. She left and I was cleaning up and I noticed that she had been gone for an awful long time and I told Mama that I was going to look for her, thinking all the while that "when I find her jack-jawing in the Food Lion parking lot, I am gonna have her hide" *L* That was until I came up on traffic stopped less than a mile on the way into town. I called Mama and told her that there must be a wreck and to start praying because even if it wasn't Whitney, someones family was there. I kept trying to think that she was stuck on the other side trying to get back from Subway. So every time they would let cars through, I would look for hers. Until I got to the guy directing traffic and I said, "All I need to know is if there was a silver Honda in this wreck?" He said "A CR-V?" I said "yes" and he sheepishly nodded his head, to which I whipped my hubbys little civic in behind the fire truck and got out and proceeded to bombard every EMT I could find, I saw the car, top cut off from the Jaws of Life, Crushed, I knew that it was either BAD, or REALLY bad. Noone could/would tell me anything, I wasn't next of kin. The GSP officer just told me that we had to get in touch with her parents and all he could say was that she was taken to Cartersville. I called Mama and they all loaded and headed for the hospital. After about 30 minutes we finally got her parents, they were in Calhoun, the GSP officer had them meet him at the A'ville exit. I knew that wasn't good. Me and Whit's grandaddy waited for them to come off of the exit ramp. The officer had already told them and Dinky (whit's mom) ran from her truck and collapsed on me screaming "She's GONE. She's GONE." I still didn't want to believe it. She was like my child, she was at my house at least 3 or 4 times a week....meanwhile at the hospital Mama had lied to the staff and told them that she was her Mother and they took her to "that" room. Mama said she knew "that" room, every hospital has one, the same kind they took her to when my dad was killed. So she knew it wasn't good. The ambulance driver told Tommy that she was gona at the scene. The GSP officer told me that she never suffered and after I got to see her Sunday before visitation, I knew he was right, she was gone in an instant. The casket was closed. Her parents never even saw her. I went to be with her and get her ready. I did her nails, hands and feet, I shaved her legs and plucked her eyebrows and lotioned her all over with Victoria's Secret "Sweet Temptation" Her favorite from my house. I dressed her, I did her make-up and dried and straightened her hair, put her little earrings in. I felt so much better, like I could do something for her. Something that she would have wanted done. It is almost like I could feel her spirit let out a big sigh of relief that I was taking care of her. Not leaving her unkempt *S* I miss her so much. I can't fathom how her parents feel. My kids miss her daily, yesterday I was talking about her on the phone and Ellie thought that it was her and frantically grabbed at my phone hollering "Mitmey, Mitmey" only for me to tell her that it's not her, baby. Whitney was so sad when we lost a baby in October so all I can see is her up there with him in heaven. Holding him for me until I can get there. She was so happy about this baby we are having in December. I had already made a deal with the girls (Moo and Whitney)after Ellie was born that they could name the next one if it was a girl for all of the free babysitting they have done *L* They had picked Mollie Rebecca if I ever had another girl. So that will be it or Moo had even said that I can go with Whitney Rebecca if I wanted to, so we'll see. Maybe Whitney Rosalie...Just the morning before she left to go to Subway we were talking about boy names and I like Denver but noone else did so we came up with Tyler from my Papa's brother. And Whitney said "Tyler Rebecca sounds really good to me *L*" We all had a good laugh at the thought of us having a boy and him getting her over that name. But we have all talked and decided that if it is a boy then Tyler Whitney will be his name. For the girl who loved him or her so much, but didn't get to meet them. I am so tired and drained, I am just glad that our first appt. with the midwofe is this Monday so we can see how things are going. I really am going to try and do more of this. Catharsis and also just to have a record, because you really never know what the future holds. |
